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Slipping through my fingers…

September 11, 2022 By: Mehroocomment

Slipping through my fingers all the time
Each time I think I’m close to knowing
He keeps on growing
Slipping through my fingers all the time……

He’s all of 18 ready to fly the nest. I thought I would be ready too. After all I saw this day coming a long time ago, specifically in the last one year as we worked on his college applications for US, UK, Canada, answering a mind-boggling number of questions on how he can be a great fit with the university, how he would contribute to its success and a zillion other questions that we answered in our quest to get him ready to leave for his under-graduate university. So then why now, after all this time, with just a week more to go, I am having these strong opposing feelings, almost like the ebb and flow of the tide, wanting to let go, yet craving to hold back, these strong and contradictory forces leave me feeling emotional, vulnerable and spent.

I am elated for my son. Proud of the way he has handled himself over these last couple of extremely crucial years in his education and growth. Being a teen is not easy, add to that an intense level of preparation for his final IB exams. Deadlines, revision, writing essays, project work dictated his days during the half-online, half-offline chaos caused by covid related social restrictions in Hong Kong. Add to that, international university applications which if you are aiming for the top tier universities can become a high-pressured, deliberate activity from which you have no respite for months till it’s done and submitted. Another significant addition would be peer pressure at that age, demand from school, pressure from parents and the society in general….phew! I felt exhausted just watching him go through it. But ultimately he did it and he did it with flying colours! I couldn’t have asked for anything more.

Now it’s time to use all that collective work, all that success and with it the learnings from difficult times, all our teachings, our values that we imbibed in him as a family – he carries all that with him as he steps out of his protective and familiar lair into the real world. My boy about to become a man. And I can’t help feeling appreciative, excited and at the same time emotional.

Seems like yesterday when we moved to Hong Kong with my 2-year old boy and in those initial days when I missed my home, his quiet and soothing voice saying “It’s ok Mummy, I like it here,” made me feel happy and relieved. Our little walks up and down his kindergarten school, chatting about the day, his favourite Spider-Man movie or whatever it was that brought a smile to his face, brought a smile to mine. Ocean Park was a big favourite for us both as we fully utilised our Annual Passes to get as much fun as possible straight after his half-day school.

Super heroes, Lego, jigsaws, board games kept him busy, but his biggest and best playmate entered his life when he turned 4! After that I took a back-seat as both the brothers bonded over toys, over books, over movies. Indoor playground was their favourite as they ran, raced and jostled each other through the slides and the swings without the fear of getting hurt! Visits to the farm, zoo, beach, playground was something that we all looked forward to both in the UK when we moved there for some time and back here in HK. Tiring out my boys with good healthy play was my goal every single day as they were growing up. Of course they would fight after the fun, cry after the laughter, but they would also always make up as quickly with each other. Happy, exhausted boys made dinner time easy and bed time early, leaving me with some time with myself and my hubby. Simple and clear rules, discipline, love and a whole lot of time and attention made us all enjoy those good old growing up days!

Where the years have flown by….I really don’t know. I remember at the start of every school term, after a long eventful holiday, I would feel melancholic and lonely, missing their loud presence despite knowing that they would be back in a few hours. It’s difficult for me to fathom what I would feel when one of them won’t come home for months together.

When kids are little, there are hundreds of support groups for mums. From teething to healthy meals to mental and physical health and after-school activities, mums ask and answer any random question, however stupid or small or irrelevant. We usually do that up to Primary school latching on to that support system. Then suddenly your child is 12 and all that support is pulled out from under your feet, just like that. ‘Hey I still need you, I still have a lot of questions about how to parent a teen, how to teach them to say no to drugs, how to talk to them about sex. But why is nobody listening?’  Mums start going to full-time work or those already working take up challenging assignments. Mums in their 40s try to re-jig and re-start our own lives that had been put on hold looking after young children. “They are big kids, they can look after themselves,” we would cackle on those one-off parent evenings at school, fighting the urge to ask that sensitive but crucial question about how I feel lost as a teenager’s mum, question that no one might have a answer to. Honestly we are not looking for answers, we are looking for support, to just know that we are not alone.

All my bags are packed
I’m ready to go

I wish you well my son as you start this brand new journey in your life. You have a long road ahead of you. There will be many opportunities to grow, to find new ways to do things, to reach within yourself and discover strength, courage, and determination. You are at the start line. Stay on the road and finish what needs finishing, don’t give up and finish with a triumph. And at any point in time you need a pit stop, home is just a direct flight away.

To all the moms and dads who are going through this separation pangs, let’s openly acknowledge how we are feeling, take some time to ourselves, and get support from our spouses, family and friends. Good Luck to you and your fledglings who are ready to fly.

Slipping through my fingers all the time
I try to capture every minute
The feeling in it
Slipping through my fingers all the time…

Photo by Liv Bruce on Unsplash

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mehrooturel

BUSINESS COACH FOR WOMEN | Mom of 2 boys 👬
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🌷✨ Tomorrow’s the day! Are you ready to cel 🌷✨ Tomorrow’s the day! Are you ready to celebrate Mother’s Day with us? There’s still time to grab your tickets! 🎟️💐
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Join us for a day filled with fun, shopping, and fun activities for the whole family. 

From unique crafts to delicious food, and engaging activities for the kids, we’ve got something special for everyone to enjoy!

Date: Sunday, May 5, 11:00am-5:00pm
Venue: The Hive Sheung Wan

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Ticket includes:
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-Free entry to WOHK's Motherhood: A Moms Day Out celebration happening at The Women's Lounge in Central
Building trust' - That's one of our core values a Building trust' -

That's one of our core values at Mums@PLAY, as we gathered today as vendors, sponsors, entrepreneurs - with our passion for what we do and our combined positive energy to make things happen! 

See you on Sunday at The Mother's Day Market

Date: Sun, May 5 • 11-5. 

Location: 33-35 Hillier Street Sheung Wan, Hong Kong

REGISTER HERE. 

https://www.eventbrite.hk/e/mothers-day-market-tickets-874653079907?aff=ebdsshother&utm_share_source=listing_android
Such an honor to collaborate with the Hive and be Such an honor to collaborate with the Hive and be a part of this engaging panel, sharing the stage with brilliant minds and accomplished women entrepreneurs at the 'Celebrate HER Stories' event last Thursday. 

Thank you to The Hive team for this collaboration and invitation to share our stories with authenticity. 

Thank you HER Fund 婦女動力基金 for daring to create a change and empowering women. 

Thank you to my Mums@PLAY community members for showing your support! 

And lastly a big thank you to the audience for your active listening, those nods and smiles, as you related with our ups and downs of running a business and balancing our lives as women, mums and professionals. 

Look forward to more powerful collaborations and opportunities to engage and motivate! 

#womenentrepreneurship #womenleaders #hkwomen #thehivehk
When you take the same route every day You tend to When you take the same route every day
You tend to lose sight of the details,
The flower that just bloomed
The leaf that just fell
You're oblivious to the present
Your mind is overworked
With baggage from the past
And future that is yet to occur. 

Today I said STOP
I woke up at 5:45 this morning. My head filled wit I woke up at 5:45 this morning. My head filled with Sabs.

Saboteurs or Sabs as we ”lovingly” call them in our family are the negative voices in our head that tend to overwhelm or sabotage us. They are the relentless inner critics that often overpower and undermine us. Typically, I assert control over my mind, not letting them overpower me, centering myself on my senses….but not today.

Read the full blog here https://mehrooturel.com/2024/04/21/saboteur-discovery/

#saboteurs #positiveintelligence #pqcoach #certifiedcoach #icfcoacheshk #icfpcc #emotionsmatter
Boredom brings brilliance, ....taps into the reces Boredom brings brilliance,
....taps into the recesses of our sub-conscious mind to bring about #creativity and #curiosity. But I also think that boredom could also lead us to dark dungeons of the past or apprehensions about the future, and if these thoughts are not controlled, they can lead to overwhelm and stress. 

Taking control of our thoughts becomes so important specially in the 45-sec attention span that we have.

Self-command, that is taking control of our own mind, in this fast-paced, tech driven world becomes not only important, but a necessity. 

Here are some examples of how you can practice command over your mind while still at work

- Take a walk to get your coffee (focus solely on your feet and the steps you are taking)

- Zone out of your computer by closing your eyes and taking two deep breaths, really focusing on the inhale-exhale pattern 

- Stare out of the window or stare into your laptop - really focusing on one thing and one thing only. 

- Close your eyes for ten seconds when you are having your lunch, and really taste your food or hear the ambient sounds around you. 

Just focus on your senses every few hours and see how differently you tend to handle your day and the challenges that are thrown in front of you. 

Have a great week ahead!
👑Join me for an empowering evening of inspirati 👑Join me for an empowering evening of inspiration and connection at Celebrate HER Stories: Women's Panel & Networking at the Hive Sheung Wan! 

As one of the panelists, I am honored to be part of an expert lineup that includes founders and go-getters, Shea Stanley, Founder & Chief Executive Insider of Little Steps Asia, the esteemed author of "Whispers of Worth," Shobha Nihalani, and Louisa Dearlove, Founder of Fēnxiǎng.

During this event, I will have the privilege of sharing my personal journey and expertise and engage in thought-provoking discussions, contributing to our growth and wellbeing. 

Get yout tickets here. Profits donated to HerFund, a community mobilising resourced for women's empowerment. https://www.eventbrite.hk/e/celebrate-her-stories-womens-panel-networking-tickets-815030547307

#paneldiscussion #womensday #womenentrepreneurs #hongkongwomen #eventshk #thehivehk
In the chaos and constant stimulation of our world In the chaos and constant stimulation of our world, the mind often finds itself caught up in a whirlwind of thoughts, worries, and distractions. It seems as if it never rests, always churning with an incessant stream of internal dialogue. But amidst this perpetual motion, there lies a profound and transformative power—𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗹𝗹𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗱

Imagine a vast, serene lake reflecting the beauty of its surroundings. Its surface is undisturbed, allowing the depths below to reveal their hidden treasures. In much the same way, the mind possesses an inherent stillness that, when cultivated, can lead to immense 𝗰𝗹𝗮𝗿𝗶𝘁𝘆, 𝗶𝗻𝘀𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳-𝗱𝗶𝘀𝗰𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆.

Yet, achieving this stillness is no easy task. It requires practice, patience, and a gentle surrender to the present moment. We must 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻 𝘁𝗼 𝗹𝗲𝘁 𝗴𝗼 of our attachments, expectations, and the constant need to control. Only then can we begin to peel away the layers of mental noise and enter into a state of profound tranquility.

In this stillness, we discover that 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁𝘀 𝗱𝗼 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗱𝗲𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗲 𝘂𝘀. We are not limited to the boundaries of our transient emotions or fleeting desires. Instead, we tap into the potential of pure awareness—an expansive, timeless space where the mind can rest and rejuvenate.

I often say that 𝗜 𝗮𝗺 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗮 𝗿𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗿, flowing, moving, splashing, having fun, but once in a while, the river needs to slow down and pause at an interim lake or pool to replenish its energy and nourish its waters. The pausing is not an end to its journey but a necessary part of its flow.

Learn to attain this stillness once every few hours. It will not take up your time, rather it will be the best investment of your time, as you get back to your work with renewed energy, vigour and creativity. 

Get in touch if you need help https://calendly.com/mehroo

Photo by dirk von loen-wagner on @Unsplash
Wishing you a relaxing Sunday .... Enjoy your coff Wishing you a relaxing Sunday .... Enjoy your coffee, read the news, smile, laugh, take a nap.... just do what makes you feel good in the moment 🍹 😀 🌞 🌻 

#sunday
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