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Let’s cut the story “short”

November 12, 2020 By: Mehroo1 Comment

I feel “liberated.”

That was my first thought after recently getting my hair cut short…really short, from my usual fairly long hair. And what a difference it made, not just to my looks but to the way I felt!

Strange but true, I felt like a big weight had been lifted off my chest, as if I was holding all my fears, my anxieties, my disappointments in my thick mane and with those tresses cut-away from my body, I could breathe easier, deeper. After the hair cut as I stepped out into the sun, running my fingers through my hair, touching my scalp, enjoying the sense of lightness, joy and freedom – a smile slowly formed on my lips as I walked along humming a happy tune, just feeling good about nothing and everything. 

Till the world took over. “What have you done!” “Why did you cut them so short?” “What were you thinking?” “Please grow them back quickly!” And so on. The closer that these people were to me, the more direct and stronger the statements. “You looked so beautiful, now see what you’ve done!” “You got a boy cut!” In some cases words failed them and what stuck was plain and stark “Oh my God!” and not in a nice way.

Now I do understand that people may take some time to get used to something new. And I did have a whole new and very different look, so they had to re-adjust their lenses. And while I smiled through it all, taking in all the comments – good, bad or ugly, I started wondering about this whole ‘hair-discrimination’ the society has created. What I’ve realised is that it’s not just your looks that get altered with a drastic change in hair style but also people’s perceptions about you. A short pixie cut look is usually associated to the vamp in Bollywood movies. There’s always the main actress in a ‘good-goody’ role who has fair skin, wo is slender and tall (but not taller than the hero), wearing “acceptable” clothes that cover the “right” parts of her body and of course with dark, long flowing tresses. Then comes the vamp in her short tight clothes, chunky jewellery, flashy make-up, maybe even darker skin and sporting a super-short hair style! 

So what does your hair say about you? Hair is so much more than a look. It says something about you – your style, your personality. And along with your change in hair style or hair cuts, people’s perceptions change too. Let’s look at some perceptions. Curly hair – people take you casually, straight hair – more business-like. Long hair is equated to beauty while short hair to confidence and panache. Hair is a reflection of who we are and what we want to show the world. Even if you look at hair colours – there is a wide range of perceptions associated there. Red-heads are considered fiery yet attention-seeking, blondes are perceived as sexy but less-intelligent, black and dark brown colour is for the professional woman who is also considered boring. And what about greys? Our society does not have much room for natural greys, specially on a woman. Perceived as old, slow and less attractive, a woman wanting to go grey naturally is automatically stopped by peer pressure and work and home environment. Personally have very different thoughts on this having personally gone grey for the last four years. I think going grey needs an added level of confidence, a strong belief in projecting your looks and the courage to stick to your guns even though the world will advise you otherwise. Going a step ahead I would say that hair is a reflection of what we are feeling in the present moment and what we would like to convey. It is like your identity – both in looks and feelings. 

Does having short hair, blonde hair, grey hair change a person, who she is, what she believes in and what her values are? Suddenly from being seen as a warm, kind, approachable person, she is now being seen as a cold-hearted, competitive, unapproachable and selfish being. I wonder why everybody stops short at commenting on hair styles, why does nobody ask or care to know about the feelings behind it? 

By showing up in the world exactly as we are, hair or no hair, we send a powerful message that we belong here and that we are also creating space and support for others to do the same. I love my new pixie hair cut in its natural grey and intend to keep it like this for a while, till I get bored, or feel like a change, or simply to support other women who have been wanting to go short but never found the courage! What’s next? How about going bald!

Follow me on @mehrooturel

 

 

 

 

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  1. Reena Gupta says

    November 23, 2020 at 3:18 am

    Hey just the free thoughts we were talking about the other day! I agree with you a lot and hats off to you for taking this plunge! Here’s to breaking stereotypes and ending all sorts of discrimination – hair discrimination! Who would have thought ????

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Such an honor to collaborate with the Hive and be Such an honor to collaborate with the Hive and be a part of this engaging panel, sharing the stage with brilliant minds and accomplished women entrepreneurs at the 'Celebrate HER Stories' event last Thursday. 

Thank you to The Hive team for this collaboration and invitation to share our stories with authenticity. 

Thank you HER Fund 婦女動力基金 for daring to create a change and empowering women. 

Thank you to my Mums@PLAY community members for showing your support! 

And lastly a big thank you to the audience for your active listening, those nods and smiles, as you related with our ups and downs of running a business and balancing our lives as women, mums and professionals. 

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When you take the same route every day You tend to When you take the same route every day
You tend to lose sight of the details,
The flower that just bloomed
The leaf that just fell
You're oblivious to the present
Your mind is overworked
With baggage from the past
And future that is yet to occur. 

Today I said STOP
I woke up at 5:45 this morning. My head filled wit I woke up at 5:45 this morning. My head filled with Sabs.

Saboteurs or Sabs as we ”lovingly” call them in our family are the negative voices in our head that tend to overwhelm or sabotage us. They are the relentless inner critics that often overpower and undermine us. Typically, I assert control over my mind, not letting them overpower me, centering myself on my senses….but not today.

Read the full blog here https://mehrooturel.com/2024/04/21/saboteur-discovery/

#saboteurs #positiveintelligence #pqcoach #certifiedcoach #icfcoacheshk #icfpcc #emotionsmatter
Boredom brings brilliance, ....taps into the reces Boredom brings brilliance,
....taps into the recesses of our sub-conscious mind to bring about #creativity and #curiosity. But I also think that boredom could also lead us to dark dungeons of the past or apprehensions about the future, and if these thoughts are not controlled, they can lead to overwhelm and stress. 

Taking control of our thoughts becomes so important specially in the 45-sec attention span that we have.

Self-command, that is taking control of our own mind, in this fast-paced, tech driven world becomes not only important, but a necessity. 

Here are some examples of how you can practice command over your mind while still at work

- Take a walk to get your coffee (focus solely on your feet and the steps you are taking)

- Zone out of your computer by closing your eyes and taking two deep breaths, really focusing on the inhale-exhale pattern 

- Stare out of the window or stare into your laptop - really focusing on one thing and one thing only. 

- Close your eyes for ten seconds when you are having your lunch, and really taste your food or hear the ambient sounds around you. 

Just focus on your senses every few hours and see how differently you tend to handle your day and the challenges that are thrown in front of you. 

Have a great week ahead!
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In the chaos and constant stimulation of our world In the chaos and constant stimulation of our world, the mind often finds itself caught up in a whirlwind of thoughts, worries, and distractions. It seems as if it never rests, always churning with an incessant stream of internal dialogue. But amidst this perpetual motion, there lies a profound and transformative power—𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗹𝗹𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗱

Imagine a vast, serene lake reflecting the beauty of its surroundings. Its surface is undisturbed, allowing the depths below to reveal their hidden treasures. In much the same way, the mind possesses an inherent stillness that, when cultivated, can lead to immense 𝗰𝗹𝗮𝗿𝗶𝘁𝘆, 𝗶𝗻𝘀𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳-𝗱𝗶𝘀𝗰𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆.

Yet, achieving this stillness is no easy task. It requires practice, patience, and a gentle surrender to the present moment. We must 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻 𝘁𝗼 𝗹𝗲𝘁 𝗴𝗼 of our attachments, expectations, and the constant need to control. Only then can we begin to peel away the layers of mental noise and enter into a state of profound tranquility.

In this stillness, we discover that 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁𝘀 𝗱𝗼 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗱𝗲𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗲 𝘂𝘀. We are not limited to the boundaries of our transient emotions or fleeting desires. Instead, we tap into the potential of pure awareness—an expansive, timeless space where the mind can rest and rejuvenate.

I often say that 𝗜 𝗮𝗺 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗮 𝗿𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗿, flowing, moving, splashing, having fun, but once in a while, the river needs to slow down and pause at an interim lake or pool to replenish its energy and nourish its waters. The pausing is not an end to its journey but a necessary part of its flow.

Learn to attain this stillness once every few hours. It will not take up your time, rather it will be the best investment of your time, as you get back to your work with renewed energy, vigour and creativity. 

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Wishing you a relaxing Sunday .... Enjoy your coff Wishing you a relaxing Sunday .... Enjoy your coffee, read the news, smile, laugh, take a nap.... just do what makes you feel good in the moment 🍹 😀 🌞 🌻 

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